Binks gets his blood drawn

So as you all know now Binks is going for his...puppy part removal procedure on Monday. Yesterday he had to go to the vet to get his blood drawn....

I get home to pick him up and am running late because I have to take a ....sample with me to the vet. I tried everything and he just wouldn't go!

"Binks!" I yelled "please just hurry up, the quicker you go the quicker you can have a peanut butter stick!"

"You think that is all it's going to take to get me to willingly farewell to my manhood Beyotch? Peanut butter? You can't be serious"

"fine. Then no PB" and I hoisted him into the back of the car. The whole way to the vet he sang "I am a man of constant sorrow"

"Binks...you are SO dramatic" I yelled back to him. He just looked through the gate and gave me the bird.

We pull up to the Animal Clinic on 28th street and it's pouring down outside.

"Binks you can make this easy on yourself and get it over with otherwise its going to be a loongggg visit"

"Screw you! You'll never take me alive!" Binks screamed as he jumped out of the vehicle.

I grabbed him just in time. "you are going to poop RIGHT NOW Binks! Im not even kidding anymore"

He didnt say a word just walked around the front of the vets office rain ruining my coach purse.

"Quit Fing around Binks and just Do it!"

"FINE!" he yelled at me and finally did his business. I scooped it up into a tupperware container and proceeded to go inside. Just as I opened the door Binks glared at me and said, "I am going to make this visit hell for you" he smiled and walked in.

He wasn't kididng. He ran and tried to jump through the partician and pissed in all four corners of the waiting room. He knocked his tupperware full of steaming turd on the ground and bolted for the exit. Luckily the nurse caught him in time. Into the small waiting room we went and he continued to misbehave by ripping apart an issue of CatFancy and again pissing in all corners of the room.

Finally the vet came in and took him away. I'll admit I did feel a little guilty as I heard him getting his blood drawn. The nurse came back and said "Mrs. Albers, the doctor would like to talk to you in the other room"

Nervous I followed her into the office where the doctor was waiting for me.

"Mrs. Albers, Im concerned about Bink's well being. We found large amounts of Vodka in his bloodstream. I'm worried that he might be....addicted. In fact I'm quite certain he's drunk now"

My answer: "most likely"

"Mrs.Albers Monday when Binks comes in for his operation we need to be sure that he is...completely clean of all...substances"
"Yes sir I understand"

On the way home I explained to the Binks that he would have to resist the urge until after his surgery was over.

He's pissed that he has to experience withdrawl symptoms and adjusting to his new...body all at once.


Again, I feel a little guilty.